Are you sick of coming up with a list of resolutions, only to find yourself disappointed a few months into the new year, wondering where you went wrong? I hate that feeling and frankly, I am over it. Why should accomplishing goals that we develop to improve our lives be that hard? After all, it’s not something we are being forced to do, right? It’s not like we come up with goals that will do us harm.

Well, after a lot of reflection and a few disappointing years, I finally realize what my problem is. I finally know what I, and so many other people, struggle with when it comes to accomplishing goals and receiving the blessings that await us. Are you ready to hear what it is?

I didn’t know myself well enough. Most of us actually don’t. Yep, that’s all it is. Nothing scientific or mind-blowing to offer you. Just this simple truth that escapes so many of us. Our biggest problem is a lack of self-awareness. We join a gym to lose weight, even though deep down we know that we have to exercise outdoors for our fitness attempts to last. We say we want to write a book, but we decide to schedule time in the evenings for our writing, when doing anything productive at night has never worked for us. We decide we need to lose 30 pounds without really asking ourselves why that particular number even matters.

We set goals for ourselves without giving too much thought to our wants and needs. If we all took the time to think about who we really are before we even establish goals for the new year, we would end up far less disappointed and a lot more likely to achieve our list of goals.

Nowadays, I think long and hard before I write a goal out and decide to pursue it. I think about what I like and dislike. I think about what I have control over (which isn’t all that much), and what I have to just flow with because that’s how life is. I think about how certain activities make me feel, and if there is a way to accomplish my goal that will leave me feeling empowered–like I am all that and a bag of chips. If the process to reach my goal doesn’t match who I am as a person, I know that reaching the goal will be far more difficult and will likely leave me feeling defeated.

Sure, there may be other things in life that get in the way of reaching our goals, but I am confident that nothing gets in the way more than failing to set goals that are in alignment with who we are. As you kick off the new year, think about the goals you set for yourself and how you plan to make them happen. Then, think long and hard about the process and whether or not it’s in alignment with who you really are. You might need to make a few changes, but when all is said and done, you will end this year feeling like you made some serious progress. Nothing beats that feeling.