I’m overweight.

Not because some doctor told me so, but because I know my body and I know what I need to feel healthy and happy. I’m not there. I feel tired and sluggish.

I had a baby twelve weeks ago. Twelve weeks and I am still exhausted. Twelve weeks and I am still trying to figure out why these extra pounds seem to act like I invited them to stay. I thought breastfeeding was suppose to help you lose all the weight? Surely keeping up with my other two kids while caring for a new one should make the pounds shed, right?

More like “yea right,” as far as I see things.

And listen, I am typically not someone who obsesses over weight. I’d rather obsess over how I feel than get all worked up over some number on the scale. But right now, I feel like the two are connected. I feel like losing some weight and gaining some muscle mass will help make my back feel stronger, my knees feel younger, and will help my energy go back to what it needs to be so I can keep up with three active kids.

But I also know that I have to get back to my healthy place in my own time and in my own way. I just had a kid for God’s sake. I have no interest in beating myself up about how my body looks. I earned every damn stretch mark I have and I’m proud. However, I know my family history and I know that even if I am able to love myself as I am, I still have to make healthier choices. I still have to be mindful of how I live my life.

So why am I having such a hard time? I know what I need to do so why can’t I just do it?

Well here are a few reasons why…

I LOVE sweets

I hate scales

Tracking what I eat is annoying 

It’s almost impossible for me to lose weight without building muscle and that takes time 

These kids are making me exhausted  

Working out on very little sleep feels almost impossible some days 

I barely have time to get it all done 

Being a health coach doesn’t make me immune to the struggle. For a while, I was afraid to share all of this with you. What if you think I’m a fraud, unable to pull it together even though I am certified as a health coach.

But then I had a moment of clarity. For me, being a health coach was never about whipping people into shape or claiming I am in perfect health. My focus has always been about understanding the complexities of the human condition and helping people work through their own struggles so they can find their own paths to wellness.

So with that in mind, I realized that I have an obligation to tell you that I am struggling. I am a mother of three with a 12-week-old child at home and I am struggling. And I am not ashamed either. I am human. My humanity is what makes me great at helping other women through their struggles.

Now that that’s out of the bag, I am sure you are wondering, so what’s next? 

Well, I have a plan. It’s not a perfect plan and I may fall off, but it’s a plan I created to fit my lifestyle and I believe it will work.

What I’ve Been Doing

  • I started running again. It feels great. It’s hard as hell to get it into my schedule and I usually have to do it on my treadmill, but I am getting it in. Right now I am using the Running for Weight Loss App, mainly because I love the interval training. I do it three times every week and I think it will help me get back into shape for sure.
  • I’m drinking lots of water. I will admit that I actually like water, so increasing my intake isn’t very tough. The toughest part is often remembering to drink it. If you are a busy mom, I’m sure you understand how easy it is to forget. So every day, I fill up this Nalgene Bottle with water twice so I can drink at least 64 ounces a day.
  • I’ve been doing this squat challenge because having a baby seems to destroy your butt and I am NOT having that. It’s been pretty easy to keep up and I have it posted on my fridge so I can remember. And I feel like my butt is coming back! Yesss!!
  • I’ve been cutting back on sugar, dairy, and carbs. No easy feat for a girl like me so I still eat that stuff, but I eat less of it. I’ve also increased my fruit and veggie intake significantly and I am about to start using Amazon Prime Fresh because no mom wants to do to the grocery store with crazy kids…LOL. With Prime Fresh you can get groceries, including produce and dairy products delivered right to your door. I haven’t tried it yet but I have heard great things. I’ll post about it once I give it a try.
  • This is gonna be a struggle, but I am trying to create a regular meditation routine. I use the Calm App from time to time and I love it, but I believe using it consistently will be a game changer, so I am going back to it. Wish me luck

Where I Get My Support

  • My husband is my person. He gets me, he supports me, he has my back. He understands that focusing on healthy habits while juggling everything on my plate is hard, so he helps out when he can. He even whips up amazing salads for me. I love that dude.
  • When it comes to friends, God has blessed me more than I deserve. I have an amazing group of women I turn to for support and encouragement. Whether I need to talk weight loss, stress, anxiety, or anything else, they have my back. Knowing they are there helps me stay focused and on track.
  • So my oldest daughter makes it a point to check in if she thinks it’s been a while since I exercised. Nothing like your 4-year-old calling you out. She’s pretty much my fitness accountability buddy and I love her for it. She even does squats with me.
  • My Fitbit is everything right now. It lets me know if I am sleeping enough, if I am moving enough, and a bunch of other stuff I didn’t realize I need to know. I just got the FitBit Charge 2 and I am loving it.
  • God. Without Him I just can’t do a thing. He is always my source.

So I can’t tell you what I’m going to weigh this fall, what size I plan on wearing, or how much body fat I’ll have. But I can tell you that before I turn 39 in October, I plan to feel pretty damn good. Stronger, healthier, more energized, and a lot happier. I  am making that promise to myself and I plan to keep it.

I hope you hold me accountable (my daughter will help you out with that).

Thanks for joining me on this journey back to myself.