Have you ever felt unclear about something? It’s a frustrating feeling. Especially when your lack of clarity is about something you feel like you should have figured out a long time ago.
I’ve been there. I hated being there. And I stayed there more than I’d like to admit.
And the thing about lacking clarity is that we often don’t even realize that’s where we are. We think we have it figured out. We think we’re doing the right things at the right times… and then it hits us. We DO NOT have it figured out. We are struggling to find the right path. We need to be still so we can hear the voice of God.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my health, my business, my family, and what my ultimate vision is for my life. What am I chasing and why am I chasing it?
Those are hard questions to answer. My quest to answer those questions has brought me closer to God and further away from the things that I once thought mattered so much,
I think we sometimes end up in this race called life, unsure about what awaits us at the finish line. And as if that isn’t bad enough, we aren’t even sure about what compelled us to become active members in the race. Why are we in it? What is our purpose? How will this race change who we are and how we add value to the world?
Over 10 years ago, I completed the Nike Women’s marathon in San Francisco, California. Yep, I did the whole 26.2 miles. I can still say that was the most physically challenging thing I have ever done in my life. It also comes very close to being the most mentally challenging thing I’ve ever done. 26.2 miles is not for the faint of heart. It’s serious sh*t.
I found myself in tears at mile 7, with a horrible pain in my knees and a lot of doubt in my heart. There were two women with me who promised at the start of the race to stay by my side. I didn’t know them that well, but we knew each other from training together the months prior to the race. I don’t think I would have been upset if they left me. I was slowing them down for sure.
But they kept their promise. They stayed with me until the finish line. They actually stayed with me.
I am still so grateful for that promise kept.
When I look back at that experience, I know I completed the race because of…
– The support of those two women
– Knowing my husband (then boyfriend) was at the finish line
– The promise I made to several people that I would complete this race (I was raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society)
– The Tiffany’s necklace I would receive at the finish line (handed to me by handsome men in bowties)
– All the months of training I did to prepare for that moment
That experience taught me that if we are clear on why we are doing something and what awaits us at the end, we can push through with purpose in order to reach our goal. Now that doesn’t mean the journey will be easy. No one promised us easy. it just means that the journey will be worth it and we can make it to the end if we choose to persevere.
If life has you feeling lost and stuck because you aren’t sure what your next move should be, I have a few tips that can help you figure it all out, No magic bullet here. I don’t have anything that will give you clarity overnight. No one has that and anyone who promises you that is full of sh*t. Clarity comes with doing a series of things to bring you to that place. It also involves doing those things purposefully and intentionally and it takes patience and persistence.
These strategies have worked for me and have brought me to where I am right now. It’s been hard, and I know I still have a lot to figure out. But now that I look back at how things have unfolded, I have to stand in awe of how amazing God is. As a person who is private by nature, blogging about my life (the good, bad, and ugly) isn’t easy. Being on social media isn’t easy. Sometimes it’s downright HARD. But I do it because I believe that hearing about my experiences can help other women on their own personal journies. I do it because I believe storytelling changes live. Yes, I honestly believe that. I think very few things can compete with the power of words.
So I know you are thinking, Spill the beans already! What has helped you gain clarity?
Turning to God
Without Him, I can’t function. I really mean that. His love sustains me. His guidance saves me. His grace compels me to be the best person I can be. The more I turn to Him with all of my pain, confusion, and frustrations, the more He gives me EXACTLY what I need to do what He placed me here to do.
Minimizing the Noise
If there is anything I can’t stand about 2016, it’s the freakin’ noise. From social media to the nightly news, noise is everywhere. We have to train ourselves to minimize how much noise we allow into our spirits, and we have to have the courage to get rid of the noise that serves no purpose.
Choosing What Matters
When we relinquish our right to choose, we allow other people to make choices we should be making for ourselves, It’s no way to live. We have to value and appreciate our ability to choose, and we have to choose the things that matter. We just don’t have the mental and emotional capacity to focus on what truly matters if we are constantly distracted by the things that don’t.
I have seen the harsh impact of failing to make mental and physical health a priority. The consequences are tragic. That is why I am very deliberate about the decisions I make when it comes to my health. I can’t get clear on anything if I am exhausted, depressed and suffering from illness. When you are in good health, finding clarity is so much easier.
Figuring Out What’s Truly Needed
This can be hard, but we have to decipher between what we think we need and what we really need. Once we begin to make that distinction, things fall into place.
Focusing on What Your Gifts Are
We spend a lot of time in life focusing on what we are good at instead of focusing on our gifts. We all have gifts–things that we were placed here to share with the world. It is our job to figure out what those gifts are so we can start sharing them. We also have to remember that our gifts may not be what we thought they were, and sharing them with the world may not look like what we thought it would look like. That’s okay. We have to be willing to TRUST Him and follow where He leads.
Are you willing to give some of this a try? I hope you are. Feeling frustrated and unclear for too long is never a good thing. As I find myself living with more and more clarity each day, I want to help whoever I can get to that place, too. Ther’s really no better place to be.