For the last few months, I have been laying low. I like to lay low so this isn’t stunning news, but even I can admit that I’ve been laying lower than usual.
In early August, we came home from an awesome family trip to California. It was a blast. About a week after our return, I was late. No, not late for some meeting or lunch date. My actual period was late. I know my body well enough to know that one day late means something is up. I ran to the store to get a test and you can guess what happened next, right? Yep,I found out that baby number 3 is on the way.
I was surprised. Not shocked, but surprised for sure. I was also anxious. Good Lord, what am I going to do with three whole kids? Will I be able to give them my best? What about all the stuff I still do for my mother because of her health? And what about my plans to grow my business in 2017? Phew. I thought I was about to have a panic attack.
After the anxiety settled, I started to feel joy. I realized how exciting it would be to have 3 kids. I thought about how excited my two kids would be to welcome a new sibling into our home. I thought about the family trips we can take before the baby turns 2 to avoid paying for that 5th ticket (I know, I’m petty…LOL). I thought about Christmas and birthdays and all the memories we will create as a family of five.
Then I said a prayer to give God thanks. I prayed for my baby’s health and safety (because I know the pain of suffering a miscarriage), and I started to think about how this news would change all of our lives. I start to think about how I need to shift my mindset and change some of my expectations for myself and for the coming year.
After this series of thoughts and a warm embrace from my excited husband who barely got a word in while my mind did somersaults, I started to think of ways to plan for our new arrival. But a week after the positive test, I started to get sick and just plain exhausted. Planning was not important anymore. I was too damn tired to plan a thing. I didn’t even know it was possible for me to be that tired and still function. Late August and all of September were tough. It’s late October, I am in my second trimester, and some days are still tough.
But we are surviving. We always do. And I have realized that despite my crappiest days, I am carrying new life. How can anyone not focus on how great that is–even in the middle of debilitating fatigue.
So what’s next for my crazy family?
I am getting back into the groove of writing, which is tougher than I expected. I guess after a few months of barely having the energy to open my laptop, getting back to my norm will be hard. I recently found out that an essay I wrote this summer will be published in a new book, *Chicken Soup For the Soul: Curvy & Confident: 101 Stories About Loving Yourself and Your Body. I am super excited about this, so that definitely helps with my motivation.
I am also working on a few other writing projects, accepting new lifestyle & health coaching clients, and putting the finishing touches on a few things I want to launch this fall. And I am working on getting more speaking engagements lined up before our new addition shows up in April. Here is a picture I took last week after having my makeup done for a photoshoot. A few friends said I have that pregnancy glow so I had to share.
As for my husband, he’s working hard, grocery shopping more than usual (because I am so tired), and doing whatever he feels he needs to do to get ready for his third child. He was always sure about number three while I straddled the fence, so words can’t begin to describe how happy he is.
But nothing beats how excited the kids are. My 6-year-old told me that he wanted to a responsible brother and a leader. Pretty deep for a 6-year-old, right? It’s no surprise for me, though. He’s always been kind of deep. Even creepy deep at times…LOL. We call him our old soul. And my 4-year-old daughter is thrilled. She hugs my stomach and kisses it daily. She told me she plans to be a kind and hopeful sister. Man, these kids sure know how to make me feel great about adding one more to the bunch.
But listen, I am no fool. These kids have a big adjustment ahead. It will take some time for things to settle after the baby arrives. There will be moments of frustration, anxiety, and maybe even some jealousy. But I also know my kids well enough to feel confident that it will all work out just fine. They will adjust. They will love their new sibling with all they’ve got. And our family with go on to be crazier and happier than ever.
And I will never sleep again.
Okay, maybe I will sleep again one day but I have no illusions about what 2017 will look like. I will be downright exhausted. I will have to slow down in a lot of areas. Being an entrepreneur without a 9-5 as a backup will bring scary, challenging days. I will cry and experience doubts about some of my decisions in life. I will go through it.
But I will also focus on my blessings. I will turn to friends and family for help more than I ever have before because I will need them more than I ever have before. I will still press on with my business because I don’t give up on anything unless it feels like the right thing to do. I will keep coaching women even though I know my body will change and I will have my own personal health and wellness challenges to face (which I will face publicly with my readers and clients because they deserve that much).
I will keep on living because that’s what I am here to do. I have no intentions of putting my life on hold. I have no intentions of deferring my dreams. I have no intentions of letting my bad days become my norm.
I’ve come too far for that to happen.
So our family of four will soon be a family of five. Our loud home will soon be louder. Our good days will be better, and the tough days may be tougher. We will all have to make changes so we can adjust. We will all have to rethink our expectations for one another (not so sure the kids will be down with that). And I am confident that we will all figure this thing out.
And whatever we can’t figure out, I am certain God will figure it out for us. He always has. He always will.
So here’s to new life and to being a family of five (have a drink for me, please… any white wine will do).
I look forward to sharing this new chapter of my life with you.
I’d love to hear any stories you want to share about how your family adjusted when a new member came along.
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