shutterstock_46608694Happy is what most of us aspire to be.  Sure, we want wealth, love, a nice home, a great career and all that other good stuff, but we only want those things because we believe that having them will make us happy.

But have you ever wondered whether or not you truly know how to be happy? Are you able to embrace joy without feeling like something negative is lurking around the corner?  Do you realize that the level of happiness you experience in life has more to do with you and less to do with anything that actually happens to you?

Its common for people to lose sight of what makes them happy, particularly in a relationship.  Most of us enter relationships with a set of expectations, but somewhere along the line those expectations get blurred, and we start questioning whether or not the person we chose to love is able to make us happy anymore. The thing is, your lack of joy really isn’t about anyone else.  It’s about you.  Sure, your husband or wife may do something that hurts you and causes damage to the relationship, but whether or not you experience long-term unhappiness as a result of what happened is up to you.

In life, we always have a choice.  Making that choice is not always easy, but the ability to choose is always present.  If someone is dishonoring you, disrespecting you, or robbing you of your joy, you always have the ability to walk away. If you stay and remain miserable without attempting to make things better, it’s a choice.  If you won’t accept that your relationship might be beyond repair, it’s a choice.

Being happy is a state of mind. Happiness is not this elusive state that only the wealthy and lucky achieve.  Happiness is available to all of us, regardless of our circumstances.  And being happy doesn’t mean that your life is problem-free; if that were the case, no one would ever be happy.  Being happy means that despite your problems, you are still able to see the good in life – you are still able to embrace life’s beauty.

If your relationship is making you unhappy, try to focus less on what your spouse is doing wrong and focus more on the role you play in creating happiness in your own life.   By doing this one small thing you may find that you actually do know how to be happy.  You simply forgot.