Image courtesy of imagerymajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Do you ever look at your husband and wonder “what on earth are you thinking?” You aren’t the only one.  Since the day we each ventured out on our first dates, most of us have struggled with trying to figure out why our men behave the way they do at times. With some time and a few (okay, maybe more than a few) conversations, I think I have finally embraced one undeniable truth – men have their own language and they have no interest in teaching us how to speak it.  We have to figure this thing out on our own.

Can we accept the fact that our men are from mars and what exactly does that mean?  It means that if we are going to make this marriage thing work we have to learn to communicate pretty darn well, and in order to do that we need to learn how to speak the language on this other planet – even when it doesn’t make any sense at all.

By taking the time to really know who our husbands are and what their actions mean, we improve the quality of our relationships.  After all, nothing is more frustrating than trying to spend a lifetime with someone you don’t get (or someone who doesn’t get you).

Certainly not all men are created equal, so some of these tips may not apply, but I think that generally speaking life might become a little easier for you and your husband when you know a few important things about him.

1) He says I love you without actually saying it. Try to focus on his actions, because they will always say far more than his words ever will.

2) His lack of interest in talking is not personal. If he doesn’t feel like speaking, it’s usually not about you. Most men process things internally and don’t see the need in talking things out all the time.

3) He needs to feel needed.  So many of us are so educated, successful and independent that we forget how to make our man feel needed. Making your man feel like you need him doesn’t make you any less strong as a woman.

4) Let him take care of the kids in his own way. Dad’s got this. Stop stressing and let him do his thing… his way. An occasional extra dose of sugar and a mismatched outfit won’t kill your kids.

5) He wants you to be happy, because that makes him happy.  Men are pretty simple. A man that loves you also loves the peace of mind that comes with making sure you are happy. Happy wife, happy life.

6) He rarely needs you to elaborate.  Keep things clear and concise if you want him to really hear what you are saying. The more detail you add, the more he tunes you out.

7) He does care about fashion… kind of.  Sure, he doesn’t need a run down of brand names, but your husband loves it when you look put together – from head to toe. It matters to him.

8) He needs some time to himself and some time with his boys.  Think about how you feel after some time alone or with your girls. Relaxed and reenergized, right? Same goes for your man, so give him that.

9) He will help if you just ask.  Don’t try to manage everything on your own. I know it can be frustrating if your man doesn’t just help without you having to ask, but honesty it’s not even on his radar at times. Just tell him what you need. It’s far more effective than getting mad while you wait for him to figure it out.