Children are precious gifts, and I firmly believe that it’s our job as parents to give them everything they need to thrive. However, I think there is a balance that all parents should try to strike when it comes to raising their little ones, while still successfully maintaining other aspects of their lives.
Parents should feel obligated to foster an environment that will make their children feel loved and supported, but they shouldn’t feel obligated to give every single ounce of themselves to their kids. I think that doing that can lead to a multitude of issues.
When your life revolves around anyone (or anything), even your own kids, it creates an unhealthy situation with unrealistic expectations. You can end up giving way too much of yourself simply because you think it’s the right thing to do. In reality, the right thing to do is find a sense of balance. Here’s why:
You Need “Me” Time. If you allow your life to completely revolve around your children, you are most likely not creating time to take care of yourself. You children and your other relationships will benefit the most if you put yourself first.
Your Marriage Can Suffer. Once you have children, it can put a strain on your marriage simply because you are trying to figure out how to balance everything and give everyone your love enough attention. If you fail to find that sense of balance, and you let your life revolve around your kids, that strain on your marriage increases and your marriage can really suffer.
Your Kids Need Space to Grow. When parents let their lives revolve around their children, they can become overbearing (even if they have the best intentions). When a parent is overbearing it can push the child away. Children need some space to figure out who they are. Without that space they suffer.
Your Kids May Resent Your For It. Letting your life revolve around your children can create a situation where they feel like they are under a lot of pressure. That pressure can result in feeling of resentment because the children think their parents want far more from them than they can give.
Your Kids Will Be Adults One Day – One day your precious little children who need you for just about everything will grow up. And, when they are all grown up, you will come to realize that your life begins to lack meaning if you allowed your life to revolve around them during their childhood. Raising happy, well-adjusted children should be considered a great accomplishment, but it should not be the only thing that adds meaning to your life.
I know that society seems to say that we should pour every ounce of our being into our kids, making them our everything. I think we should all consider the possibility that doing so is not what’s best for them, and ultimately, it’s not what’s best for us.