My husband is a pretty low-key dude, and I respect that. You will rarely see pictures of him on my social media networks, simply because he’s not really into social media. It’s just not his thing. His low-key attitude, however, is pretty consistent. He doesn’t say too much unless he really has something to say, and I suspect that sharing his feelings and emotions is not his favorite thing to do.
Over the years, I have discovered that because my husband doesn’t share too much, it can be difficult to determine what he needs. I don’t think he’s intentionally keeping things from me. I just think it doesn’t occur to him that he really needs to share certain things. And the reality is that although it’s nice when he tells me what’s on his mind, I don’t need him to all the time. We have been friends and lovers long enough for me to figure out what he needs to make him happy and to make our marriage work.
Although your man may have unique needs, there are needs that many men have in common. To determine some of your man’s needs, you will definitely need to have a conversation with him, but I hope what’s listed below can serve as a starting point when it comes to figuring out what some of his needs are.
Here are a few things your man needs that he may not be sharing with you.
1. Feeling like you can hold things down. One of a man’s biggest fears is what will happen to his family if something ever happens to him. Sure, insurance can provide for his family financially, but a man needs to feel like his wife will be able to hold things and run the house and kids on her own if she has to.
2. For you to give him props. Your man needs to feel appreciated as much as you do. If you are always nagging but never thanking, he can begin to feel like you don’t appreciate anything he does.
3. For you to be more receptive. Is your man is pushing up on you – flirting – and you keeping dissing him because you are too tired to even think about sex, you are hurting that man’s feelings. I know you are tired (I am too), but your man needs you to be receptive. Whether he’s giving you a compliment or a kiss, when you are receptive he feels good.
4. A vote of confidence. Your man wants to feel like you have faith in him and you trust that he can do things right. Telling him what’s wrong all the time just makes him feel he can’t do anything right. If he is gracious enough to do something, have a little faith that he will do it well.
5. To feel trusted. If your man has given you reason to distrust him and you have decided to stay, consider counseling if you still find yourself unable to trust. However, if this man has never given you reason to distrust him and you are just holding on to pain from the last dude that did you wrong, let it go. Your man needs to feel trusted and making him pay for what someone else did doesn’t quite say “I trust you.”