There is one thing that I believe all good moms have in common—we all want to do the best thing for our kids. Mothers everywhere are full of good intentions. We love our children and we want them to have the best life possible—often a better life than what we had. We aren’t perfect, so we get things wrong (whether we choose to admit it or not). Then we feel guilty when, frankly, guilt is a wasted emotion. It serves no one.

So as mothers I wonder if we are asking ourselves the right questions.  Are we truly doing what we should be doing to raise wonderful human beings (and maintain our sanity in the process)? When I think about myself and the conversations I have had with countless friends and acquaintances who have children, I find myself realizing that the moments when we come up short as mothers are a result of our failure to get real with ourselves, look in the mirror, and ask ourselves the tough questions; the ones that can be painful to answer.

In an effort to help myself, and my fellow mamas out there who truly want to be the best mothers possible, I’ve created this list of questions. Join me in asking yourself the tough stuff. The answers may hurt, but I promise getting to the truth will make us all better moms.

  1. Are you imposing your dreams upon your children?
  2. Do you put your health first?
  3. Are you pursuing your life’s passion?
  4. Do you take time daily to care for yourself?
  5. Are you happy in your marriage/relationship?
  6. Are you truly present when you are with your kids?
  7. Have you worked through any issues you have with your own parents?
  8. Are you teaching your kids how to manage anger in a healthy way?
  9. Are you so focused on who your kids are not, you are missing out on who they are?
  10. Do you encourage your kids to be active?
  11. Do you lead by example?
  12. Are you able to admit when you are wrong?
  13. Do you know who your neighbors are?
  14. Do you encourage your child’s creativity?
  15. Do you go on dates with your kids?
  16. Are you taking the time to teach them how to love?
  17. Are you affectionate enough?
  18. Has technology taken over your home?
  19. Do you take the time to see the world through their eyes?
  20. Are you teaching your kids the crippling power of fear because you let your fears hold you back?
  21. Are you truly kind to others?
  22. Do you accept and learn from your failures?
  23. Do you really love who you are?