A Letter To My Son on His Birthday
I am in awe of the person you are becoming. When I found out I was pregnant with you, I was filled with this indescribable joy. How excited I was about bringing life into this world, and I spent months wondering about who you would be. I dreamed about what you would look like and what you would be like. I was so eager to meet you.
When you entered the world, I bursted into tears. I was so overwhelmed with joy, I didn’t know what else to do. Trust me, I had no idea I would react that way. But I later realized that would be the first of many motherhood experiences where my emotions would get the best of me. Motherhood is like that.
Today, as your turn 4, I find myself filled with so many feelings. I am so proud of you. You are kind, sweet, determined, energetic, gentle, loving , affectionate, and one of the funniest people I know. I worry about you. I worry about my ability to successfully navigate the educational system to ensure that you receive the education you deserve. I worry about the way the world will receive you as a young Black man. I worry about the day when you realize that some people will never see how wonderful you truly are because their ignorance won’t let them see past your skin color. I have great hopes for you. I hope that you have the courage to pursue whatever God puts in your heart. I hope that you know, despite any cruelty you may face in the world, goodness is abundant. You just have to train your eyes to see it.
I vaguely remember being 4. It was a fun time in my life. Although I don’t remember much, I do remember being happy and feeling loved. That’s really what any kid should remember about their childhood. Not pain. Not hurt. Not rejection. Every child should remember a childhood filled with learning, love, joy, support, encouragement, and acceptance.
Today, I thank God that I have been able to give you those things. I am so grateful that your biggest source of hurt is not being able to watch television all day or stay up until 10pm. I am thrilled that you think I’m a bad mommy simply because I said you can’t have candy before dinner–and for no other reason.
Enjoy your special day, son. Laugh, run, eat, play, and laugh some more. I promise you that with each passing year, I will always do everything in my power to make sure that you always have the things you need in life. I will move heaven and earth to provide you with a strong foundation, allowing you to be yourself even when the world tells you that you should be someone else. I want you to grow up knowing that who your are is always enough.
May your 4th birthday be an awesome one, because a kid like you deserves nothing but awesome.
Loving you today and always ,