Monday, January 6, 2014

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Why I Still Believe in Marriage

My wedding day

My wedding day

I will be honest.  I always wanted to get married.  It wasn’t because I felt like being married would complete me because I felt complete prior to my union (I’m a Brooklyn girl who grew up with a good dose of ‘tude and never believed that anyone could complete her).  I wanted to get married because I believed that choosing the right mate would complement me and enhance my life in a meaningful way.  I believed that embarking on this journey called marriage with a person I love and admire would change my life and make me a better person.  I knew that creating a solid partnership with someone shared my values would give me a life that I truly wanted to live.  I was right.

I have been married for over five years.  In that time we have experienced our share of rough waters and our share of smooth sailing.  It’s to be expected. Sharing your entire life with another person is no easy feat and nothing in our lives truly prepares us for what that bond means.  Sure, we think we know what we are getting ourselves into, but I don’t think I truly knew.  I figured it out along the way.

There are so many negative images and statistics about marriage.  I am not trying to minimize what the stats mean because divorce is a challenging reality for many, and trying to make a partnership last requires a ton of work.  However, I can’t help but to feel like there is an abundance of negative images.  Too many celebrity stories about a marriage ending quickly and abruptly.  Too many stories about a nasty divorce where kids are the real casualties.  And with all of these stories and images, I think it really make some people stop believe in the power of marriage.  I think it can make folks wonder, what’s the point? 

I don’t know what the years ahead will bring.  I know that I married a guy who is my friend and he has my back no matter what. My husband is fiercely loyal, and although I am sure life will throw some unexpected stuff our way (it already has), I am also sure there is no other person I’d rather be sharing this journey with.  Our love is real.  We laugh, we disagree, we have fun, we annoy each other, we support each other, we frustrate each other, we enjoy each other, we anger each other – and through it all, we don’t simply survive… we thrive.  The rough times have made us stronger and the good times have done the same.

So, yes, marriages are not perfect.  And, yes, for some people things don’t work out.  But I have to say, by choosing to believe in marriage, I find the courage and wisdom to navigate mine, believing with every fiber of my being that this thing will last.  To be frank, if I didn’t believe in marriage, mine would fall apart.  It’s the decision to believe that makes a marriage last.

 

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  1. Thanks, may be you can help the “celebrities” by inviting them to your pages because they seemed overwhelmed by attention that they may not ever have the opportunity of visiting sites and pages that chip in great resources to encourage homes… Thanks. You are doing great!

  2. I definitely agree. I believe in marriage because if I stop believing in it then there’s room to lose belief in a lot of other stuff. It’s just much healthier to think positively.

  3. It is so good to hear young women sharing their real-world experiences with marriage and telling why they are in it for the long-haul. I think that is one of the secrets to longevity in marriage ~ not wanting to bail at the first (or second or third) sign of trouble. That is part of the problem that celebrities run into… Many don’t want to stand up and fight to make their marriages work during times of trouble, and that is what it takes. Marriage is definitely worth fighting for, but it is so much easier when you are married to your friend. So you already have a huge advantage. :-) I feel blessed to be married to my best friend, and this has helped us to hold it together for over 22 years through the good and not so good. So I believe in marriage, and I agree with you that it is healthier to think positively.

    • CandidBelle says:

      Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts and your personal experience. I hope I will be writing a blog post one day about how we made it to year 22! Actually, I don’t hope — I know I will be. I wish you continued happiness in your marriage.

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